A word to the wise: Just because you are PMS'ing and your hair is not cooperating...grabbing the scissors to take care of the problem might not be a great idea. If you are wondering if there is a story behind this, yes, there is. The other day my niece wanted me to wear a ponytail in my hair like hers. Once I put my hair up, I decided too much of my face was showing in relationship to my hair...so I grabbed the scissors and gave myself bangs. Which might not have been a terrible thing...except for the past couple of months I've been growing my bangs out and they were finally at the point I wanted them to be. To add to the insanity of my actions, my second thought after "oh crud..what did I just do?" was...I guess I'll just have to wear my hair in a ponytail more often. Mind you, I hate my hair in a ponytail. I've decided that PMS is a monthly opportunity for women to stay humble.
Why am I sharing all of this? Because I'm stuck in the library trying to download movies to keep the boy entertained on our next drive. Well, that is one reason. The other is that I want my kids to know that no matter how old I get, sometimes I still chose a long term solution to a short term problem. And if you are wondering why I want my kids to know that...there is a story behind that too.
Recently one of my kids was sharing a phone conversation with me and I was sympathizing because it sounded like something I'd hate. They told me no...it was good for them. HUH???? was my reaction and they went on to explain that they realized from the conversation that some things are universal problems no matter how old you are...and that was comforting to them. They no longer felt so alone that they were there themselves. So kids, if you do dumb things even when 42...remember that Mom once cut her bangs to make nice with a 5 year old...and know that you are not alone! Know that sometimes we do really dumb things that have long term consequences and that while it was may be dumb, it is also just being human. Oh, and remember that no matter what the problem-bangs are not the answer!
The other reason I wanted to share this is because this week I was given an unexpected gift. One of my children sent me a letter thanking me for some of my life/parenting choices and the positive impact it had on them. I was so stunned that I didn't even know what to make of it. I couldn't tell if it was sarcasm or was genuine at first because this is a kid who I get the impression doesn't think I get many things right in life. I realized then that sometimes all my rambling is perhaps not just rambling, but they might actually be grabbing a thing or two along the way. Now, I've learned to say less...much less...with my kids. I've worked hard on trying to just be with them, rather than direct them and preach at them every minute of the day. I've learned to trust in my living what I believe to be the best parenting tool of all. There are still times though that I ramble here or there or in person, because there are still words I want to say. It's nice to know they are hearing some of them.
So thank you to the kid who shared how they felt less alone and reminding me that being honest about all of life has value and thank you, thank you, thank you to the kid who shared their heart and made mine swell with joy this week. And thank you to the five year old who I love enough to be suckered into wearing a ponytail (I'll take credit for the dumb actions that followed) because I was reminded that sometimes love means doing things you wouldn't do otherwise.
Life is good...and my hair is not. That seems about right in the great balance of things so I'm at peace with it. For today at least.