Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Company Mode

If you know me well, you will also probably know that I hate having company. Not so much that I hate the company as in the people-I hate doing the whole having company part though. I am not a hostess and I hate playing one on TV or real life. It's not that I don't care about people, but I really am not great at thinking of getting drinks, making meals, do you need this or that-all of that.

It makes me a not so wonderful nurse too. I told Nathan today that he had to get better. It isn't optional at this point. I just can't keep taking care of him and me and the kids! The pressure of being responsible for it all is completely overwhelming to me. Babies/little people-yes; big people-no.

I do however love camping with people because then I don't feel as if I am in hostess mode. You take care of your needs and I'll take care of mine and we'll just hang together and enjoy each other's company. I am all about that!

I can still find myself getting a tad bit obsessive about making sure my house is just so, even with living the camping lifestyle. So with Daryl and Diana coming in a few days, I did what any logical person who has severe company anxieties would do. I tore apart my whole RV and reorganized it. Because don't you know if they are coming, they will surely look in my cupboards and when they see how neat they are they will completely forget that I can't cook so the food in there does neither one of us any good. ;-> Ah, the things we do for the illusion of control.

The really silly part is five minutes after they are here, I will forget the days of me getting all worked up and all I did to prepare and just enjoy them. Now if I could just skip all the days ahead part and remember to just wait for the just enjoy them part.

In the meantime, I have really neat cupboards that will probably not even last until they arrive.

Living the life in Florida!


laurie l. goodman said...

i'm sure u are not alone in this! too funny... i am a maniac before company too-i'm sure the kids think-o no, she's at it-we're in for a lot of work and insane mama! good luck-maybe this recognition will help you to let go and not go nuts when things get messy again before they get there...:)